Yin Yang Bang Bang (A Weird Descartean Dick Poem)

Yin Yang Bang Bang (A Weird Descartean Dick Poem)

my imaginary boyfriend
eats imaginary cereal
but mostly he doesn’t eat
and goes to bed hungry
like the starving artist he is
the body his canvas
his muse and his patron
his brain a murder mystery
for the hunger to
unsuccessfully solve

my imaginary boyfriend
has an imaginary flesh body
his imaginary preabsolved sins
wreak imaginary havoc with
his imaginary friends
who are sadly so real
you could totally mistake them
for real people
his love letters have no letters
and only contain imaginary numbers

my imaginary boyfriend
sends me imaginary dick picks
but his dick is not imaginary
it’s a relay baton that pierces
through the veil of illusion
a flagpole that shuns white flags

I wish my pussy was a portal
that sucked in the pounded meat
via the means of teleportation and whatever
sucked in the imaginary brain
that spends a lot of effort arguing
it’s not ”fake” just ”imaginary”
as if I care
the ghosts aren’t real
and the Tetris blocks dissolve
into my pussy
like everything

imaginary is just one way
of saying ”existence”
dick is just one way
of saying ”I am” and
”where do I go from here?”

my imaginary boyfriend is
so clever and hot it makes
my innards tickle and
my poor little brain ache
I guess it’d be too much
if he was real (”I am”)
my pussy is perfect at its job
but I suck at imaginary numbers
and reading imaginary letters
but perhaps with enough time
it all comes together

Maija Haavisto


Maija Haavisto has had two poetry collections published in Finland: Raskas vesi (Aviador 2018) and Hopeatee (Oppian 2020). In English her poetry has appeared or is forthcoming in e.g. Moist, Capsule Stories, ShabdAaweg Review, The North, Streetcake, ANMLY, Eye to the Telescope, Shoreline of Infinity and Kaleidoscope. Follow her on Twitter at: http://www.twitter.com/DiamonDie She has poetry readings available on YouTube at: http://www.youtube.com/user/DiamonDie